26

Yesterday an unimaginable tragedy occurred miles and miles from where I live, but never before had an act of senseless violence struck so close to home. I learned about Newtown, Connecticut and the 26 innocent lives taken there while I was at work, and I spent the better part of the afternoon and evening crying or with tears in my eyes. All I wanted was to hold my baby and never, ever let her go. I wonder all too often what kind of world I have brought my daughter into. But in our house, on a night of heartache, we did not watch the sad news unfold. Instead, we made the most of the life we have been blessed with.

Amelia and I had our first tea party. She's just starting to learn how to pretend, and would hold the cup up to my mouth while I made exaggerated slurping noises. She laughed hysterically and her giggles filled a piece of my heart that had broken yesterday.

 

At bath time I showed her the Ernie "Rubber Ducky" video on YouTube for the first time while she played with her ducky. She thought that was pretty great too.

 

And after her bath, we snuggled downstairs and watched "Elf" until she fell asleep in my arms. I carried her upstairs for bed, and I rocked her for awhile even though she was already asleep. It took a lot of effort to lay her down in her crib and close the door.

 

I always thank God for allowing me to be Amelia's mommy and ask him to watch over her, but last night I was beyond grateful. The tears continued today, hitting me as I drove or when I looked at my sweet girl's face. I pray for peace and healing in Newtown in the days, weeks, months and years to come. I pray that we can all be reminded that there is still good in the world, and that we will strive to share that goodness in the lives of all we encounter.

 

"And you ask me what I want this year/and I try to make this kind and clear/just the chance that maybe we'll find better days/'Cause I don't need boxes wrapped in strings/or designer love and empty things/just that chance that maybe we'll find better days..." -Goo Goo Dolls, "Better Days"