Monday, July 11, 2011

These things I'll never say

5 bonus points if you recognize the post title as Avril Lavigne lyrics.

This weekend I drove three hours north to go to my best friend's baby shower. I first mentioned her here when I found out we were going to be pregnant "together". (Quotes because we really only see each other once a year now.) I love her more than just about anyone in the world (she is close in ranking to my husband...maybe even above him some days!). There is absolutely nothing we can't and haven't talked about, from love to family to ovulation and everything in between. We "get" each other like no one else.

But the one thing we've never discussed is money. Because you see, she has it and I don't. Let me say that I get that she worked her ass off in college - completing a 7-year doctorate program in 6 years, never getting summer or Christmas breaks off - and I don't begrudge her the rewards of that hard work. But she makes more than C and I combined, and that's not even with her husband's salary which I don't think is anything to scoff at either. It's even tougher because we are really struggling financially right now (yes, good timing with a baby on the way). So when I went to her house this weekend (her house that cost more than double what ours cost... and yes, I'm a horrible friend because I looked up the sale price on the auditor's website), it was like rubbing salt in the "we need a money tree" wound. Things I couldn't say to her this weekend:

"I wouldn't have missed your shower but it took a full tank of gas for me to get here and back and now I'm afraid we can't afford groceries this week."

"Of course I want to go to dinner with you...but can we please go somewhere I can eat for under $10?"

"An iPad 2 and a new cell phone, huh? Yeah...I still have this refurbished Blackberry and C's using my old phone that is the same one you had three phones ago."

"I'm glad you guys have nice cars. I still have the same one I drove in college and I'm trying to figure out how to get a new one so I can even fit a carseat in it."

So yeah. It was great to see her but I did come home a little depressed about being one of the have nots.

On a happier note, here's a pic of us and our bumps - me at 33 weeks, and her at 30-ish weeks.


  1. hold your head up MT, I know how hard it can be but sometimes all we see is the surface and possesions...just something to think about!
    On a happier note:
    You are looking amazing at 33 weeks, time has flown by so fast! :) not too much longer before ML gets here!

  2. Aww, I know where you are coming from. It was comforting reading that I'm not the only one with struggles. We both will get through them.

    p.s. You look amazing!