What a weekend

I had such a crazy weekend that I don't really even know where to start. I guess I'll start at the beginning. My SIL was due to be induced on Friday, but ended up going into labor on her own on Thursday night. I spent Friday at work dying for updates, and ended up getting to the hospital just as she was born. She had a rough start - she aspirated meconium and had a tough time breathing on her own, and my SIL was running a fever so they immediately started the baby on antibiotics. They also had to give her glucose through an IV so she wouldn't aspirate any milk. The doctor who came in to talk to the family (there were like 20 of us in the room - it was kind of out of control) didn't exactly deliver the news in the best way, and there were lots of tears, making for a rough night for everyone. But I'm happy to report that baby Isabella is now home and doing well! Here she is:

It was extremely crazy to think that I'll be having one of my own in 6 months. I have been badgering my poor SIL for all the gory details so I can be prepared!


In the midst of all of the happiness, I also got into a big fight with my husband. He has been wanting a dog ever since we moved into a house with a yard, but I'm against it for a few reasons. One, our fence needs redone. It's falling down and there are gaps so you wouldn't be able to put a dog out in the yard without watching it. Two, we have new furniture that I don't want a dog chewing up (to say nothing of my shoe collection). Three, we're not really home much and I don't think it's fair to crate a dog all the time. And finally...we're having a baby in six months! I don't need another baby to take care of!

My hubby (and many family members) knew his dad and his dad's gf were getting us a puppy (a chocolate lab) and then they sprang it on me when we were leaving to go to the hospital to see my SIL. I was livid. I think they thought I'd change my mind when I saw how cute it was but I could really care less. So right now it's staying with its sister at my FIL's while I try to decide what to do. I hate that I was put in this position, and that my husband put me in it. I also hate that they paid a lot of money for this puppy from a breeder when I personally support getting pets at a shelter.


Last on the crazy train was the weather. Yesterday was gorgeous - about 55 and sunny - and then today the temp is going to drop into the 30s. Last night I kept getting woken up by thunder, and at 4:30am I woke up to the tornado sirens going off for the second time since we've lived in our house. I poked my husband in a panic and said, "Is that the sirens?" and he goes, "Uh huh," and just rolled back over. Oh good...so this is what I have to look forward to when I have a baby crying in the middle of the night! So I turned on the news and luckily the worst of the storms were to the east of us, but I had a hard time getting back to sleep.

In baby news, we find out the sex on Saturday at our elective u/s! This weekend I started to get really sore - my hips hurt and my back and abdomen just feel like they're being stretched. So I guess things are growing and moving along, even though I still don't have much of a bump to show for it.

I've been thinking that I've not left you with song lyrics lately, but alas, nothing comes to mind right now. Next time!

Creeping up on 2nd tri

How far along are you?: 13 weeks today - 3 days and I'm officially in 2nd tri! Is that possible?!

How big is baby?: Peach-sized

Weight gain/loss?: +2ish lbs

Stretch marks?: Nope, since I really don't even have a bump.

Maternity clothes?: Not wearing them yet though some jeans are a little snug in the waist.

Sleep?: All I've done is sleep because I've been sick this week with respiratory/sinus stuff. I get up about once a night to pee. 

Best moment this week?: Hmm...I dunno.

Food cravings?: Cravings/aversions are tapering off, but last night I really wanted French fries with the burgers my hubby made. And when he didn't get them at the store I went back and got them myself!

Gender?: We'll find out March 5. MH wrote something in my Valentine's card about "our little girl" and I told him he'll really confuse our kid if it's a boy and they find that card someday!

Movement?: Nothing I can feel yet.

Belly button?: Unchanged

Symptoms?: Hardly any. I was just thinking about how easy this pregnancy has been *knocks on wood* If I hadn't seen our little bean in there I still don't know if I'd believe I'm pregnant!

What do I miss?: Being able to take Nyquil!

What I'm looking forward to this week? The end of 1st tri - and my new niece should be born any day!

Milestones?: See above.

Introducing Baby MT!

Today was my NT scan - I'd debated whether to get it done but ultimately decided I just wanted to make sure everything was ok in there. Unfortunately my hubby wasn't able to make it because of work but my mom came along. It was pretty amazing to see that even though the baby's only itty bitty right now, it clearly has recognizable parts!

The doctor's office thought I should be at 11w1d based on LMP, but based on Fertility Friend's estimations I was going with 11w5d. Baby proved us all wrong and measured at 12w exactly, moving my due date up to August 25. The u/s tech had a hard time getting the baby to move around, proving to me that s/he is my child because I love to nap! She actually said, "This is one of the laziest babies I've ever seen!" (Which of course caused a brief freakout where I asked, "Is it ok that it's not moving?!?" and she assured me it was fine.) We also got to hear the heartbeat, which was 170.

So here is our little bean - two feet visible at the bottom (one leg tucked underneath), a little hand in the middle, and what the u/s tech called a "very cute nose":

I think I'm in love!

We'll get the scan results at our next appointment, which is March 1. She said the neck measurements looked good, so hopefully everything will be just fine. Right now I'm just relieved to see our little baby is looking picture perfect.

(Ok, decided to add one more pic! Hand up by his/her mouth.)

Oh, bother.

The title of this post comes from the infinitely wise Winnie the Pooh, who often worries about more than his little stuffed-with-fluff brain can handle. Pooh and I have a lot in common these days.

Let me start by saying that I continue to feel so blessed by this pregnancy and the fact that things have gone so well so far. *knocks on wood* But the past couple of days I have just felt ridiculously overwhelmed. It's hard to explain and I can probably chalk a lot of it up to hormones, but today I just wanted to stay in bed with the covers over my head. The things I'm currently worried/frustrated about:

1. Money. My husband and I make enough money but we're certainly not rich. Since buying our new house things are even tighter, and the expenses just keep adding up. We're paying off new windows and dining room furniture, which I planned to put our tax return toward - until we finally got his W2s and discovered that somehow his deductions were screwed up. So instead of the $1,300 we were getting back when just my info was in Turbo Tax, we now owe $700 between federal and state. I'm going to see if I can get a CPA to double check it, but if we owe that much money I have no clue how we're going to pay it. Oh, and our tax return was also supposed to pay for the vacation we're taking with his family in June.

Add to that the fact that our title company forgot to collect $500 from us they should have at closing, and we are now having to pay them. (Yes, I checked with a lawyer first.) We made one $250 payment and still need to make one more.

And finally, I will need a new car when this baby comes (as I mentioned in a previous post). My car is a small two-door with 140,000 miles on it. I can't even fit a carseat in it. My husband thought his car was going to be paid off this summer, but a phone call to the bank told us it's going to be paid off in December instead. There is no way we can afford two car payments.

2. My job. I took my current job as an escape from a job from hell. It was the right thing to do at the time - my last job was causing so much stress that I cried all the time, couldn't sleep and my stomach was constantly in knots. My current job is at a college, in a business-y capacity - not my forte. On a daily basis I have no clue what I'm doing because there was no training provided and hardly any support available. I have no idea what I'm going to do when the baby is born because while I need to keep my benefits (my husband can't get them through his job), my 40-minute commute for a job that I don't love is weighing on me. But see #1 - we need money.

I currently freelance a newsletter for my old job for extra money and am now looking into selling Lia Sophia jewelry, but even with both of those things I will still need to work somewhere.

3. The baby. This one I'm sure is plenty normal, but seeing my sister-in-law the past few days has really generated this unspeakable anxiety in me. She is due in two weeks, and I see them getting ready for the baby and it terrifies me. She sat on the couch last night showing her brother where the baby's foot was pushing out, and the idea of that just freaked me out beyond belief. I really can't put it into words, but I just felt so uncomfortable with it. I know I will love this baby more than anything in the world when it arrives, but right now I am just feeling so overwhelmed by everything in our lives that it's tough to see past the road blocks. I am a person who likes control, and this is one instance in which I am going to have to give it up.

So I'm trying to take deep breath and tackle one obstacle at a time. I keep telling myself that for the most part there is nothing I can do about any of these things right now so I just need to take the advice of another animated character, Dory:

"And you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable/and life's like an hourglass glued to the table/no one can find the rewind button, girl/so cradle your head in your hands/And breathe...just breathe..."
- Anna Nalick

From crashes to swooshes - the soundtrack of my life

Before I get to the details of my doctor's appt from today, let me say that I barely left the house the past two days due to the massive ice storm we got. Work was cancelled, and I had some nice lazy time in front of the TV with the cat. A giant piece of a tree fell in front of our house on Tuesday night, causing me to seriously panic and make my hubby go move my car. It scared me to death and I barely slept Tuesday night because I was afraid something was going to fall on our house! Everything was creaking and cracking and chunks of ice were falling on the roof. Luckily our power stayed on and nothing else major happened.



So on to Baby Miller (aka Miller Lite) news. Today was my first OB appt and the first chance to prove there was really something growing in there! I was so nervous because I'm still convinced I am making all of this up! No bump, no morning sickness - could there really be a baby in there? My hubby went with me, and I got a feel for what it's like to take a child to the doctor. Poor guy. He hates anything medical and gets so antsy waiting for anything. Last night I told him they would be doing a pelvic exam and he said, "While I'm IN there?!" How is he ever going to survive the delivery room? haha.

So he impatiently flipped through some old Sports Illustrated issues in the exam room until the doctor came in and talked to us a little about what she would be doing, gave us some info on the NT scan, etc. Then she left while I got undressed (which he found odd - "You have to get completely naked?! Woman stuff is so weird.") and then he started poking around stuff in the office while I chastised him. He started opening cupboards, messing with the light they shine on your ahem...undercarriage... and I kept going, "Stop touching things!" Good grief.

So when the doctor came back in, she started by trying to find the heartbeat. As soon as she put the doppler on my belly we heard it for just a fraction of a second and she said, "Let's see if we can find it again." I was praying that she would, and a few seconds later she got it for several seconds and said, "There it is!" I hadn't thought I would get emotional, but I definitely teared up. I caught MH's eye over the table and smiled at him, and said, "So there's really something in there, huh?" and my doctor said, "Yep! There's something in there!" It was awesome to finally get some proof after all this time! Then the fun part was over. The hubs skipped out to go to work and I had my pelvic exam (blech).

I decided to make Baby Miller Facebook official after the appt, and it was crazy how nervous I felt telling the world. I still can't wait to see our little bean (well, I guess right now it's a prune. Gross.). I'm not sure if we'll have the NT scan or not - still have to decide - but we will be doing an elective u/s around 15 weeks to find out the sex early. Next check up is March 1. So all is well in our world today!