30 Years Young

Once again (as will be the case almost all summer), I had a busy weekend. I turned 30 on Friday the 13th - cue creepy Twilight music! (Actually it was no biggie, as I also turned 13 on Friday the 13th and I didn't spontaneously combust or anything.) We went to dinner at Olive Garden with my family on Friday night - my aunt and uncle/godfather were in town from Arizona for my grandpa's birthday party, so it was nice to have everyone together. For once the weather was even nice on my birthday! Here's a pic of me that night. I told my hubby I thought my dress was too short and that people would think I was a slutty pregnant lady. He said, "Then they'll know how you got that way!" hehe

 25 weeks, 6 days - is it just the lights or do I have that pregnant lady "glow"??



On to the gifts... My parents got me this new video camera - the Kodak Playfull - that I wanted to capture baby moments. It's so eensy weensy - even smaller than my cell phone!

My husband got me a certificate for a massage per my request, and when I opened his card I almost cried. He wrote, "I love you and I can't wait to meet little Amelia. That's right, I said Amelia. That is my other gift to you. Our little girl will be named Amelia Grace Miller." He previously had told me on many occasions how much he disliked the name Amelia and also didn't really like Grace, so I was completely shocked that he would make that offer. It was so sweet, but now I feel weird committing to a name after so long!

Here's a gratuitous shot of my niece at dinner because she is just too darn cute.

"Do you think there's any money in this envelope?"

Saturday I went shopping with my mom and aunt while my hubby and the boys golfed. I got a couple of baby things (the outfit below, some cute onesies, and a car mirror for the back seat). 

I came home to the tornado sirens going off, even though there wasn't a tornado warning in our immediate area. There were some funnel clouds spotted but luckily we weren't really in any danger. I did almost lose my mind though, because the sirens went off for an hour! This is the fourth time they've gone off since we've moved - I'm so over our weather this spring!

Sunday was a surprise 90th birthday party for my grandfather (he is actually my grandma's second husband - my grandpa died when I was 2). My mom did a lot of work for the party and I got there early to help set up. It was a nice afternoon with friends and family - here's a pic of my grandma and grandpa as my dad was giving a speech about him. I hope my husband and I are still this in love at 90 years old!

So by last night I was one exhausted girl! It's tough getting old ;o) But all in all I had a great weekend and felt very blessed to be surrounded by so much love!

"May the good Lord be with you down every road you roam
And may sunshine and happiness surround you when you're far from home
And may you grow to be proud , dignified and true
And do unto others as you'd have done to you
Be courageous and be brave
And in my heart you'll always stay
Forever young..." - Rod Stewart

What a weekend

I had such a crazy weekend that I don't really even know where to start. I guess I'll start at the beginning. My SIL was due to be induced on Friday, but ended up going into labor on her own on Thursday night. I spent Friday at work dying for updates, and ended up getting to the hospital just as she was born. She had a rough start - she aspirated meconium and had a tough time breathing on her own, and my SIL was running a fever so they immediately started the baby on antibiotics. They also had to give her glucose through an IV so she wouldn't aspirate any milk. The doctor who came in to talk to the family (there were like 20 of us in the room - it was kind of out of control) didn't exactly deliver the news in the best way, and there were lots of tears, making for a rough night for everyone. But I'm happy to report that baby Isabella is now home and doing well! Here she is:

It was extremely crazy to think that I'll be having one of my own in 6 months. I have been badgering my poor SIL for all the gory details so I can be prepared!


In the midst of all of the happiness, I also got into a big fight with my husband. He has been wanting a dog ever since we moved into a house with a yard, but I'm against it for a few reasons. One, our fence needs redone. It's falling down and there are gaps so you wouldn't be able to put a dog out in the yard without watching it. Two, we have new furniture that I don't want a dog chewing up (to say nothing of my shoe collection). Three, we're not really home much and I don't think it's fair to crate a dog all the time. And finally...we're having a baby in six months! I don't need another baby to take care of!

My hubby (and many family members) knew his dad and his dad's gf were getting us a puppy (a chocolate lab) and then they sprang it on me when we were leaving to go to the hospital to see my SIL. I was livid. I think they thought I'd change my mind when I saw how cute it was but I could really care less. So right now it's staying with its sister at my FIL's while I try to decide what to do. I hate that I was put in this position, and that my husband put me in it. I also hate that they paid a lot of money for this puppy from a breeder when I personally support getting pets at a shelter.


Last on the crazy train was the weather. Yesterday was gorgeous - about 55 and sunny - and then today the temp is going to drop into the 30s. Last night I kept getting woken up by thunder, and at 4:30am I woke up to the tornado sirens going off for the second time since we've lived in our house. I poked my husband in a panic and said, "Is that the sirens?" and he goes, "Uh huh," and just rolled back over. Oh good...so this is what I have to look forward to when I have a baby crying in the middle of the night! So I turned on the news and luckily the worst of the storms were to the east of us, but I had a hard time getting back to sleep.

In baby news, we find out the sex on Saturday at our elective u/s! This weekend I started to get really sore - my hips hurt and my back and abdomen just feel like they're being stretched. So I guess things are growing and moving along, even though I still don't have much of a bump to show for it.

I've been thinking that I've not left you with song lyrics lately, but alas, nothing comes to mind right now. Next time!

Babies galore

I've shared pictures of my niece several times, but I have also mentioned that I have another one on the way. My brother-in-law and sister-in-law are expecting their little girl on Feb. 21. I hosted a baby shower this past Sunday at my house and think it turned out pretty well! It was so nice to have a family gathering at our house - that's why we bought it! We invited about 40 people and about 20 ended up showing up (what is it with people not knowing what "RSVP" means these days?!).

Everyone who knows I am pregnant kept saying "You'd better have a girl!" because she got SO many clothes (which honestly I think is a little silly because she will never wear them all, and who knows what size she'll be at what point). Her aunt and grandma got her a tote with 64 outfits in it!

It was very surreal to think that this is all going to be happening to me a few months down the road, leading me to realize once again that being pregnant actually leads to a baby that comes home and lives with you! Here are a couple of pics from the big day.

The diaper cake my MIL made (I helped roll diapers!):

Serious present haul (and everyone playing a game)

As I was busy playing hostess I didn't get many pictures of the mommy-to-be with her guests or of my other shower creativity like the cute basket of favors I put together. Oh well! It was a fun day, and I can't wait to meet my new niece!

Why my husband doesn't work for the CIA

I might kill my husband. Ok, lest that ends up in some sort of legal records somewhere, let me say I'm kidding. Kind of.

Last night I came home from work, and we were headed to dinner with some friends. I said, "I won't be drinking, don't you think they're going to notice?" (Not that I'm a lush, but I usually have a beer or wine with dinner.)

And he says, "How long are you planning to wait to tell everyone anyway? I already told Mom."

I went from zero to Irish in about 10 seconds.

"WHAT?! I told you not to tell anyone yet!"

"I'm excited! I had to tell! You know I can't keep a secret!"

"Yes, but I needed you to keep THIS secret! I told you that! Things can still go wrong! I'm about 2 seconds pregnant -"

"Two DAYS..."

"It doesn't matter."

"I may have told my dad too..."

Oh. My. God. His dad dates this woman who has the biggest mouth on the planet. If she finds out, game over. Now I feel like I have to tell my parents too, before they find out secondhand. I had been thinking MAYBE we would be telling our parents and siblings on Christmas (at 5 weeks) if things were still ok.

Oh, then he threw in the kicker, because I was close to tears - "Are you getting all pregnant and emotional already?"

I went upstairs to get ready to leave, about to lose it, then felt a little bad after the fact. I have all of my wonderful online friends to talk to, and he doesn't have anyone. I know he's excited. But it's just still so early.

I'm so worried this baby won't stick. I think I'm going to call my doctor's office on Monday to see if I can have bloodwork done because they didn't order any. Decent betas would make this easier, I think, because I keep taking tests and I confess that I'm still temping. The tests are getting slightly darker, but are still light, and my temp has gone down a little. It just fuels my fears.

Stick, Miller Lite, stick...
(Thanks to Kathy for that nickname, hehe)

My lips are (kind of) sealed

A brief recap of what I posted on the TTGP board - I talked to my mom, who told me she had sensed that I wasn't excited about my friend being pregnant. So she asked if we were trying, and I confessed that we are. She asked how long, and I told her. She told me she was sorry because she didn't know, and that it can take awhile. Thankfully she also promised not to be bug me about it. So that's that. I feel better now. I'm not sure why I didn't tell her from the beginning, but I think maybe just because I wanted it to be a surprise when we do get pregnant. Which, with the roll I'm on telling people, it may not be a surprise to anyone!

Yesterday I started making a mental list of the people who know we are TTC. In order of when they found out, they are:

1. My best friend, A - She knew we were going to start trying months in advance, because she and her husband are going to be trying soon too and we talk about everything. We spent hours talking about babies and pregnancy long before my hubby and I got down to business. Now I've turned her on to charting, and it's so fun to stalk her!
2. My SIL - When she got pregnant (on birth control) she was totally freaked out and told me I should get pregnant with her. So I told her we were planning to start trying the following month.
3. My friend K (who dates my BIL) - I told her when we found out SIL was pregnant.
4. My two BILs - When my husband started having some performance issues, he talked to his brothers, so they know what's up too. I guess I shouldn't be the only one to get to confide in someone...
5. My friend B - She badgered it out of me. I dodged the conversation once, then finally caved and gave her the details.
6. Random former co-worker I visited recently - She asked, and caught me totally off guard (we never had that kind of a friendship!), so I just said, "Yeah..."
7. My (now pregnant) friend J - I spilled when she told me she was pregnant the other night, as I mentioned. I said we were trying, so maybe our kids could be friends like we were.
8. My mom (and therefore presumably my dad)
9. Oh, and hundreds of Internet strangers from TTGP. haha

There are still people who I don't want to know - my MIL, who can't keep a secret to save her life; my husband's dad and gf (because they are simply not tactful human beings); and a few other friends. My sister doesn't know either, but we've never had that kind of relationship. My mom had to be the one to tell me she was pregnant with my niece.

It's nice to have people in the loop, but I don't want to announce our pregnancy the second it happens, so I think they'll all be on the lookout for red flags like not drinking or not feeling well... oh well! Can't put the cat back in the bag now!

A gratuitous "cat out of the bag", not-so-great-quality shot of my kitty when she was a baby:

"I need another story/Something to get off my chest/My life gets kind of boring/Need something that I can confess...I'm gonna give all my secrets away..." - One Republic

Mommy Material

Let me start by saying I love my mom. I talk to her almost every day, and tell her almost everything. I say "almost" because she doesn't know that we are TTC. I think it's a combination of not wanting to get the constant questions/wondering from her, combined with wanting to surprise her and my dad when we do get pregnant.

Well, it seems it is definitely going to be a surprise. Saturday I was talking to her on the phone and we were discussing how I plan to get a new vehicle when my husband's car is paid off next year. I have had the same car for 9 years and it is getting up there in miles. It also is a small two-door that has no cargo room, and I am pretty positive I couldn't even fit a carseat in the back seat. So I was discussing with my mom whether I would want a four-door car (I love the Mazda 3 and 6) or a small SUV. She asks the inevitable question: "Well, are you planning to have kids?"

I say, "Hopefully, someday." (I feel this was truthful.)

She says, "Well, I just wonder about you sometimes."

WTF?

She goes on to tell me that my grandmother recently told her she didn't know if she could see me with kids. And then adds that when she was talking to a woman she has known for many years at the college I used to work at (where my mom still works), this woman says, "Oh no, I couldn't see (MillerTime) having kids." My mom then says my husband and I "want an awful lot" in life. I really have no clue what this means. We don't have plans to travel the world or go sky diving. Or move to a studio apartment in a big city. We just got married last year and upgraded to a 3-bedroom house with a playhouse in the back yard in a family-friendly neighborhood, for heaven's sake.

I just don't get it, and my feelings were hurt. Last year when my mom found out my sister was pregnant (which did not go over well because my sister has a lot of issues, isn't married, etc.) she told me she hesitated to tell me because she thought I'd be upset because she knew I wanted kids. I don't get how that has changed. For years whenever I've held my cousins' babies, my mom has remarked, "You really like babies, don't you?" because she has never been a "baby person". Since my niece was born last December, I have spoiled the crap out of her and make a beeline to pick her up whenever we're visiting. I have talked many times about being a preschool or kindergarten teacher (I worked at a daycare for a year). So what is it about me that says to everyone, "Hey this chick shouldn't have kids!"?

My mom has made comments in the past when I was taking care of my niece that she "can't see me with a baby" because I'm "too intense." I admit it - I'll probably be one of those moms who freak out about every little thing and want my baby on a strict schedule and won't want anyone else to watch him/her. Maybe a little Kate Gosselin-esque...without all the plastic surgery and tabloid fodder. But I will also spoil my baby to pieces and love him/her so much I can't even put it into words.

It probably didn't help that this conversation fell on the eve of the end of my fourth cycle of TTC. But I guess I'll just show 'em all when I finally get pregnant!

"You're entitled to your opinion/But it's really my decision/I can't stop now I'm on a mission/If you care don't you dare blur my vision/Let me be all that I can be/Don't smother me with negativity/Whatever's out there waiting for me/I'm gonna face it willingly..." - Joss Stone

Inappropriate/Awkward Comments - Weekend Edition

Friday at dinner with my husband's family
My husband is saying how he'd like to join the Y or find a hobby because he "never has anything to do when he gets off work."

My brother-in-law (husband of my pregnant SIL, who both know we are TTC): "Maybe you should just go home and have lots of sex and get your wife pregnant like me."

Um...really? He said it in a joking way, but it was so not funny. I changed the topic quickly and made a note to make him feel super awkward in public sometime in the near future.

Saturday Incident #1
The hubby and I are discussing the family vacation next June that his mom has started planning, and I tell him how I hope to be pregnant then, and how I want to 1-not be miserable and fat on vacation on the beach, and 2-may not be able to fly depending on how far along I would be.
"Why?" he asks. I say, "There's some medical reason you can't fly later in your pregnancy. Blood clots or something maybe?" (I haven't exactly researched the reasons at this point.)

Fast forward to sitting at the in-laws' house Saturday night. My MIL is talking about vacation, and my hubby says, "(MillerTime) doesn't want to fly."
MIL: "Why?"
Hubby: "She might get blood clots."
MIL: questioning look at her son like he's lost his mind
Me: *death stare at the hubs* "Nope, actually I would much rather fly. I hate riding in the car."

And also on Saturday
Me: "Does anywhere around here have smoothies? I really want a smoothie." (We are in a new community since we moved - a much smaller one.)

BIL (yep, same one): "Tim Horton's has good ones now. Maybe you're pregnant. (pregnant SIL) always wants smoothies."

Me: dies a little inside - "Anyone want to go to Tim Horton's with me?"

Add those ridiculous instances to the fact that I was badgered by another friend last week until I confessed we are TTC, and then a former co-worker (who I like well enough, just not close enough to share really personal things) flat-out asked if we are trying.

Ugh. Come on miracle baby. I need you this month or I'm going to need to start throat punching people.


Quick edit to include a pic of the black mantel as promised, and our almost done family room (need new fireplace doors, new curtains and new windows, but overall it is looking good!)